CONTENT WARNING: Suicide
I'm one of the happiest depressed people you will ever meet! How can that be? Well, there is a big difference between being a positive person that struggles every day and being a negative person who struggles every day. In the same paradoxical way that I am extremely suicidal but don't really want to die. If I can bear to live... then I want to live.
One of the greatest problems on Earth is the inability to reconcile the human right to feel your own emotions and pain, whilst not losing sight of how fortunate we all are.
Recently someone said that they are waiting until their responsibilities have diminished until they then end their life by their own hand.
As someone who struggles with that same desire, I can honestly say I do understand when people feel that life is too much for them. When they feel that their suffering is unfair.
We all have the right to feel how we feel.
A different person I came across recently, is someone who feels they suffer unfairly. No doubt this feeling is representative of a real genuine truth that things are indeed very bad for them.
It saddens me deeply when I come across people that wallow in the absolute belief that they have suffered extreme injustice. It is often no doubt absolutely true. And everyone is entitled to wallow.
But despite the total support I have for the right to wallow. What saddens me is the damage these people do to themselves.
For me often life doesn't feel like something I can continue with. And yet I am an extremely positive person. I find beauty in the sky and waters. I find joy in the seasons changing. I feel warmth watching families enjoy their days out. Simple pleasures make me very happy. And I have lived a life of luxury. I have had so much opportunity. In comparison to my fellow countrymen I have never had real money but it is luxury none the less.
I live in a country with good sewers. Exposure to elements that can sometimes kill, but are mostly forgiving. Whilst the life of a homeless person is a terrible thing without any luxury. Even as a hedonist and materialistic individual, I can appreciate that should I walk out of my life with just the clothes on my back today... even with no connections or money... I would still be gifted with a life of luxury compared to the indignities and abuse suffered all over the world and throughout time.
There are people that live with constant massive pain that choose to live. Have families. Achieve wealth and reputation professionally.
Just because some lives are unbearable... it does not mean that we are not extremely fortunate.
Wallowing in the things that are unbearable whilst choosing to continue living. Choosing to believe that no one has ever been maligned more than yourself. Feeling that the universe, and everyone in it, has a responsibility to pity you and comfort you...
These things are how you destroy your own fate.
I believe I am extremely fortunate despite an equal belief that I am almost unable to tolerate existing.
I honour those less fortunate than myself... past, present and future by choosing to reflect on how many people suffer far far worse.
If you want to dishonour those that endure so much more than you. So be it. I advocate your right to feel and think in your own individual way.
Yes, I am pro-choice on euthanasia and even suicide. But if you are someone that doesn't want to die... but actively compounds your own misery in all your actions, and without any intention to change in the years to come. Then I pity you. I am saddened knowing you choose to reflect on the negatives in life rather than appreciating what a magnificent gift existence, life and planet Earth all are.
#fate #choice #happiness #rights #contentwarning #suicide
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